Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
