If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
