When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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