Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
