There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
