Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
