nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
