Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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