you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
