How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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