Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Sober January is a disaster.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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