at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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