you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
