My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I see more hoeing in ur future
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