She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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