i need an iv and a liver transplant
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
