I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
