i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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