girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I need to calm my uterus...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
