this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
