all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
