Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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