the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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