You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
