id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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