I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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