Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
now i know why i became what i already was.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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