He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
