put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
