u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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