Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
