We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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