i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
