Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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