i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize