now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
