Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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