finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Boobs speak an international language.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Two words: nipple clamps
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