youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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