My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
