I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
