vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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