what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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