should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
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