The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
