You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The air was thick with penises
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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