Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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