I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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