What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
