My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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