I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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